How to Reclaim the Real Thing in a World of Fake Everything
I feel you. You're juggling work deadlines that keep piling up, the kids’ endless after-school activities, the laundry you’ve been meaning to fold for days, and that nagging inner voice whispering, “You should be doing more.” All while trying to remember if you replied to that important email or picked up milk on your way home. Somewhere in the chaos, you’ve probably caught yourself scrolling through Instagram late at night, glass of wine in hand, munching on some quinoa chips you didn’t even really want. And maybe—just maybe—you've wondered: Why doesn’t this make me feel better?
Here’s the thing: you’re not alone. We’ve all been there. Life gets overwhelming, and the quickest escape often seems like the easiest choice. But sometimes, that “quick fix” leaves us feeling emptier than before.
Why? Because it’s not real.
Let’s talk about how the world serves up so many fake replacements for the things we truly crave—and how reclaiming the real thing can transform your life.
The Sneaky Trap of Cheap Dopamine
First, let’s break this down. Dopamine is often called the “feel-good” hormone. It’s what motivates you to seek out pleasure and rewards. But here’s the catch: not all dopamine hits are created equal.
The artificial highs—scrolling social media, eating fast food, drinking too much, or chasing the approval of strangers—are like a bar of chocolate: empty calories. They give you a quick spike, but there’s no real nourishment behind it.
The result? You’re left craving more, trapped in a cycle of chasing quick fixes that never truly satisfy.
And here’s what no one tells you: those “highs” often replace the deeper, more meaningful sources of joy, connection, and fulfilment.
Don't get me wrong, the dose makes the poison and sometimes binge-watching your favourite show or an enjoyable glass of wine is exactly what you need. Listen to your body and soul what they truly desire.
What Are You Really Craving?
So, let’s break these dopamine highs down:
- Porn is fake sex. It’s not intimacy, connection, or love. It’s a shortcut that bypasses the vulnerability of truly being with someone.
- Alcohol is fake fun. Sure, a glass of wine might take the edge off, but is it giving you the deep belly laughs you share with your best friend or the joy of dancing like no one’s watching?
- Fast food is fake food. It’s quick and comforting in the moment, but does it nourish your body and give you the energy to tackle your day?
- Drugs are fake happiness. They mask the pain, but they don’t heal it. True happiness comes from connection, purpose, and being fully present in your life.
- Smoking is fake relaxation. It’s not the deep, soul-soothing calm you feel after a walk by the ocean or a quiet evening reading your favourite book.
- Celebrities are fake role models. They might look perfect on the outside, but they don’t know your story, your struggles, or your dreams.
- Social media is fake connection. It tricks you into thinking you’re connected, but when was the last time a like or comment made you feel truly understood?
The Science Behind It—Short-Time Rewards
Here’s the kicker: your brain is wired for these traps. Studies show that artificial dopamine triggers—like social media, fast food, and alcohol—activate the brain’s reward centre, releasing dopamine in short bursts. But these bursts don’t last, leaving you stuck in a loop of wanting more.
On the other hand, real, meaningful activities—like connecting with loved ones, spending time in nature, or pursuing a creative passion—release dopamine in a slower, steadier way. This not only makes you feel good but also builds long-term happiness and resilience.
For example, researchers at Harvard found that quality relationships are one of the biggest predictors of happiness and health. And when it comes to relaxation, mindfulness practices like deep breathing and meditation activate your parasympathetic nervous system, helping you truly unwind—no fags required.
Reclaiming the Real Thing
So, how do you break free from the artificial and reclaim what’s real? Here are a few ideas:
1. Pause and Ask Yourself: What Am I Really Craving? The next time you reach for your phone, pour a second glass of wine, or binge-watch another episode, pause for a moment. What are you really looking for? Connection? Joy? Rest?
2. Create Space for What Matters. Set boundaries around the things that drain your time and energy. That might mean scheduling phone-free evenings, limiting your social media
use, or saying no to things that don’t align with your values.
3. Host a “Silent Dinner.” Invite close friends or family to join you for a meal where you eat in complete silence. It’s awkward at first, but the experience forces you to focus
on the taste, texture, and connection in the room—without relying on conversation to fill the space.
4. Take a “Micro Adventure.” Pick a random bus route or train line, and ride it to the last stop. Explore the area, take a walk, or sit on a bench and people-watch. The
unpredictability of this small adventure can open your eyes to the beauty in the unknown.
5. Write a Letter to Your Future Self. Instead of journaling your daily thoughts, write a letter to the version of you five years from now. Be honest about your dreams, fears,
and what you hope to accomplish. Seal it and set a calendar reminder to open it in five years.
6. Turn Mundane Tasks into Rituals. Washing dishes? Instead of rushing through it, turn it into a meditative moment. Focus on the warmth of the water, the sound of the bubbles, and the act of clearing away the day. Pair it with calming music or silence to let your mind wander in a restorative way.
7. Make a “Boring Thing Beautiful.” Take something mundane, like your to-do list, and turn it into art. Use watercolour paints, intricate doodles, or elegant handwriting to
transform it into something beautiful. This small act can remind you that joy can be found even in the ordinary.
8. Swap Small Talk for “Big Talk.” Instead of the usual “How was your day?” with a partner or friend, ask something more profound, like “What’s something that’s inspired you
recently?” or “What’s a moment from your past that shaped who you are today?” You’ll be amazed at the depth this brings to your relationships.
9. Borrow Someone Else’s Perspective. Spend a day seeing the world through someone else’s eyes. Volunteer at an animal shelter, shadow a local artist, or attend a community event you’d usually avoid. Immersing yourself in another experience can make your own life feel richer.
10. Design a “Dopamine Detox Day.” Set aside a day to consciously avoid all artificial dopamine triggers—no social media, processed food, or binge-watching. Replace these with
offline activities: sketching, hiking, or building something with your hands. Pay attention to how it feels to create instead of consuming.
A Life That Feels Full, Not Just Busy
I want you to imagine something for a moment. Imagine a life where you’re not rushing through your days, chasing fleeting dopamine hits. Imagine a life where you feel deeply connected—to yourself, to others, and to what truly matters.
That life is possible. And it starts with small, intentional choices to trade the artificial for the real. Because you, my lovely, are worth so much more than a cheap dopamine hit.
Here’s to living fully, authentically, and unapologetically.
Loads of love,
Nadine xxx
PS: Have a look at my 3 week email course “Less Stress-More Me”. Get real, be YOU!
PPS: Thanks to Pranic Healers (FB) for the inspiration to this blog post
