Do We Have a Calling Without Someone to Call Us?
Exploring Purpose, Choice, and the Paths We Walk
I’ve worked with hundreds of women for over 6 years—women seeking clarity, purpose, and that elusive calling. They’d sit across from me, often overwhelmed, with questions like, “What am I here to do?” “How do I find my path?” And that word—calling—always stood out to me.
Because if we think about it, “calling” carries a certain weight. It implies that something—or someone—is reaching out to us, inviting us to step into a greater purpose. But what if you’re not religious? What if you don’t believe in a higher power directing your life? Does that mean you can’t have a calling?
I don’t think so. As someone who believes in the universe, a path, and free will, I think purpose exists whether we attribute it to God, fate, or our own ability to choose. But let’s unpack this idea together.
Can I Be Both the Archer and the Arrow?
This is the question I’ve wrestled with for years—both as an empowerment coach, an archer, and as someone walking my own path.
If there’s a purpose to my life, a direction I’m moving in, who or what set me on this course? Am I the archer, taking aim with clear intention, or am I the arrow, carried forward by forces I don’t fully understand?
Thomas Aquinas, the medieval philosopher, argued that if there’s a path, there must be a pathmaker. If our lives are like arrows flying toward a target, there must be an archer—God, fate, the universe—guiding us. But what if it’s more complex than that? What if the “caller” and the “called” are one and the same? What if we’re both the archer, setting our aim with free will and choice, and the arrow, propelled forward by something greater than ourselves?
This duality might feel like a paradox, but I think it’s where the magic happens. When we align our intuition, energy, and actions, we become the archer with a steady hand, aiming toward a life that feels right. At the same time, we trust the arrow to fly—letting go of control and allowing the universe (or life itself) to carry us forward.
It’s not about choosing one or the other. It’s about trusting that you can be both.
Is It a Path or Are We Building It Ourselves?
In other words, think of your life as a trail through the woods. Some people believe the path is already there—hidden under the overgrowth, waiting to be uncovered. Others feel like they’re building it brick by brick, choice by choice, step by step.
Both ideas hold some truth.
Aristotle famously argued that everything in life has a purpose (its telos). A good glass holds water. A good oven bakes food. And a “good life,” according to him, is one where we flourish—where we are living out our purpose. But here’s the catch: Who or what gives us that purpose?
While Thomas Aquinas would say it’s God, modern thinkers might argue it’s biology, society, or personal experiences. Freud would say it’s your primal drives and unconscious mind pushing you forward.
But you know what I think? I think your purpose is yours to uncover. It’s that whisper of excitement when something “just feels right.” It’s the sense of flow you feel when you’re so absorbed in a task, time seems to disappear.
Call it intuition, call it energy, call it alignment—whatever it is, it’s you calling yourself forward.
The Universe, Free Will, and Listening to the Whisper
I believe the universe has a role to play—call it energy, destiny, or life nudging you in certain directions. But here’s where free will comes in: it’s up to you to listen and take action.
Let’s say you’re a writer. You’ve always felt happiest when putting words on paper, but life got in the way. You pursued a “practical” career, and writing became a distant memory. Then one day, you’re on a long walk, and the thought pops into your head: “I should start writing again.” It’s a whisper, soft but persistent.
Where does that whisper come from? Maybe it’s the universe aligning, guiding you back to something true. Or maybe it’s your subconscious, pulling pieces of you together and reminding you of what lights you up. Either way, it doesn’t matter. The real magic lies in your decision to hear it, trust it, and act on it.
Because a calling isn’t about sitting back and waiting for the path to reveal itself—it’s about showing up for your life and choosing to walk it.
Practical Steps to Find Your Calling
(Without Waiting for a Sign)
You don’t need a divine revelation or a dramatic “aha!” moment to find your calling. Sometimes, purpose is found in the smallest of steps—by paying attention to what feels right and honouring the quiet nudges along the way.
Here’s how:
Listen to Your Energy.
What makes you feel alive? Pay attention to where your energy flows effortlessly—whether it’s helping others, creating art, organising chaos, or building something from scratch. Your energy will always guide you toward what aligns with you.
Reflect on the Moments That Felt Right.
Think about times in your life when you felt a deep sense of joy, satisfaction, or flow. Maybe it was volunteering at a shelter, teaching a class, or designing a space. What were you doing? How did it feel?
Make Space for Intuition.
Intuition isn’t a magical gift reserved for a few—it’s a skill you can strengthen. Slow down, get quiet, and listen to your inner voice. Journaling, meditation, or simply going for a long, distraction-free walk can help you hear what’s already within.
Take Imperfect Action.
You don’t need to see the entire path to take the first step. Start small. If you’ve always loved writing, set a goal to write for 10 minutes a day. If you feel drawn to helping others, volunteer for an hour this weekend. Each step reveals the next.
Trust That You’re the Caller.
Maybe you’re not uncovering a pre-written path—maybe you’re creating it as you go. And that’s okay. Trust that the whispers you hear come from the deepest, truest part of you.
You Are Both the Caller and the Called
So, can we have a “calling” without someone to call us? I think we can. The “caller” doesn’t have to be (only) God, the universe, or fate. It can be you—the part of you that already knows what lights you up, what fills you with purpose, and what feels right for your soul.
Your purpose isn’t something out there waiting for you to stumble across it. It’s something within you, waiting to be uncovered, chosen, and brought to life.
The path forward is yours to walk. You get to decide the direction, you get to lay the bricks, and you get to uncover the parts that already exist. That’s the beauty of life: You have both the guidance of something bigger and the power of free will.
So, what are you waiting for? The whispers are already there. The choice to listen—and to act—is yours.
With love and empowerment,
Nadine xxx
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